After exploring the Plastic Owl and Antelope Theories, I began thinking about what other animals could join our wildlife-inspired series on workplace behavior. Naturally, I turned to what I know best: collection calls.
Over the years, I have listened to thousands of them. And if there is one universal truth, it is this—customers want to be heard, not judged. They want to be understood, offered solutions that fit their situation, and treated with respect. When collection calls go south, it is usually because the collector steers it that way.
Spending time around farms and horses also gives you perspective on certain barnyard personalities. Take the goat, for example—not the “Greatest of All Time,” but the actual animal. Goats, while entertaining, how would they be as a collector? Let us pursue this thought.
What Would a Goat Phone Call Sound Like?
I did some research and identified the Goat Rules of Thumb:
Supreme Confidence
- Goats never hesitate. They do not second-guess. You tell them “Don’t do that,” and they immediately do that, with eye contact. That kind of blind confidence? Feels like righteousness. What does that look like on a phone call – “oh my”:
- A collector jumps into the call with a script, does not pause to listen, and immediately pushes for payment—despite the customer mentioning they just lost their job. The customer tries to explain, but the collector cuts them off, insisting on options that do not fit. The result? The customer shuts down or pushes back.
- It is the goat approach: no hesitation, no adjustment, just charging ahead with blind confidence. It might feel like taking control, but it comes across as pushy and disconnected from the customer’s reality.
Gravity-Defying Proof
- You try telling a goat it cannot climb a sheer cliff or stand on a narrow tree branch—and then it does it anyway. It is hard to argue with a creature that literally walks all over nature’s laws. What does that look like on a phone call – “there is hope”:
- A customer says, “There’s no way I can make a payment this month.” The collector acknowledges it, but instead of assuming it is a dead end, they explore creative solutions—maybe a due date extension, a partial payment, or even just committing to a follow-up.
- Against the odds, the customer agrees to a small step forward.
- Like the goat on a narrow tree branch, the collector navigated what seemed impossible—not by arguing, but by calmly exploring options and showing balance.
The Goat Boss
- Goats will knock over your bucket, chew your shoelaces, stare at you like you messed up, and walk away victorious. They weaponize indifference like it is an art form. What does that look like on a phone call – “here we go again”:
- The collector rushes through the call, skips over the customer’s concerns, and reads off options without checking for understanding or agreement. When the customer expresses frustration, the collector stays cold, offers no empathy, and ends the call with a flat “collection efforts will continue.”
- The customer hangs up feeling dismissed and unheard.
- That is the goat energy—knocking over the conversation, ignoring the tone, and walking away like nothing happened. It is not just ineffective—it damages trust.
Ancient Wisdom
- With their weird rectangular pupils and stoic beards, they look like they have seen things. Biblical things. Time-traveling-goat energy. You do not question a creature that looks like it is silently judging humanity. What does that look like on a phone call – “my coaching is working”:
- The collector approaches the call with calm authority, but without a trace of judgment. Even when the customer hesitates or admits they cannot pay right now, the collector listens patiently, offering understanding and solutions—never rushing or pressuring. It is like they have seen it all before and know that every situation deserves empathy and respect.
- Like a goat with time-traveling wisdom, the collector does not judge—they simply adapt to the moment and offer guidance.
Bleat of Truth
- Some goats sound like they are arguing with you. Like, really passionately. You try debating with that kind of intensity—it is exhausting. Goats wear you down until you just go, “Fine! You win!” What does that look like on a phone call – “and there you have it”:
- The collector stubbornly keeps repeating the same points, even after the customer expresses confusion or frustration. Every suggestion is met with resistance, and the collector keeps pushing back, getting caught in a cycle of arguing, instead of listening to the customer’s needs.
- It is like dealing with a goat—unyielding and relentless. The collector will not stop until the customer is mentally drained and ready to just agree to end the call or make a payment that might not be kept.
Can you Coach a Goat?
After doing a little research and trying to align the Goat Rules with phone call behavior, I realized that many collectors fall into goat tendencies. I also thought, what would I do to coach a collector with goat tendencies. Here are some of the ideas I came up with (using goat speak):
- “Don’t goat the call.” Listen, adapt, and respond with empathy—not just confidence. Building a relation ship over the phone is necessary on all calls with a customer. (refer to Building a Relationship Over the Phone Blog). Listening, communicating, questioning, positive phrases, clarifying, explaining and guiding a collection call are all critical in not being a goat on a call.
- “Don’t assume the cliff is the end.” With the right approach, even tough situations have footing.” Once you understand the customer’s situation, use the information gathered to work out a solution and move resolution forward with that customer based on only that customer’s situation.
- “Balance over brute force.” The goal is not to win the argument—it is to find stable ground.” A call that ends in a win – lose or win – draw scenario is not good for everyone involved. I like to reinforce that all calls, regardless if there is a payment solution or not, need to be a win – win – win solution. That is a win for the customer, a win for the collector and a win for the business.
- “No Head Butts – Don’t weaponize indifference.” If a customer feels like they do not matter, the rest of the call does not either.” It is funny, but I have heard that most people would prefer a Chatbot or AI interaction because there is no judgment in those interactions. If a collector creates any level of judgment or disrespect, the customer will check out. Most people prefer interaction with others, being heard, understood and communicated with in a way that helps them feel cared for and valued. Now this makes for a great starting point of a collection call.
- “Use your goat ears and not your eyes, the goal isn’t to judge—it’s to understand.” Approach every call with empathy, like you have seen it all, and know there is always a way forward.” Once you understand the customer’s situation, use all your tools to offer solutions and deliver on what you offer.
- “Be a goat, stay firm but patient. Do not let the intensity wear you down”—keep the conversation focused on solutions, not endless arguments.” Remember, the collector is the adult on a collection call, lead the call and do not get trapped into allowing a call to go south and end with nothing but a waste of the last few minutes of yours and the customer’s time.
Conclusion: The Goat in All of Us
So, can a goat be a great collector? Maybe not in the literal sense—shoelace-chewing and bucket-kicking do not exactly make for ideal workplace traits. But metaphorically? Absolutely. The goat has a lot to teach us.
From blind confidence and relentless energy to ancient calm and unshakable balance, goats embody both the best and worst behaviors we can bring to the phones.
When unchecked, goat-like tendencies in collectors can lead to pushy calls, missed connections, and frustrated customers. But when channeled the right way—with patience, empathy, and a touch of goat wisdom—we can turn even the most challenging calls into moments of connection and resolution.
The real goal is not to tame the goat—it is to coach it.
To turn intensity into intentionality.
To swap judgment for curiosity.
And to climb the steep cliffs of customer conversations with steady feet and a listening ear.
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Author: Ken Evancic
Ken.Evancic@ResourceManagement.com
As a consultant for Resource Management Services, Ken provides consulting, training and mentoring in all phases of collection and recovery, in addition to auditing third party vendors.
Ken Evancic is a Vice President at Resource Management Services, Inc. Ken Evancic is a collections veteran with over 25 years experience. He has managed all phases of collection, including all levels of delinquency, automated dialer units, early out agency management, recovery, and skip tracing. In addition to collections operations management, he has lead initiatives in the areas of performance management, collections strategy development, collector and manager training, collector desktop design, collections reporting systems, and risk and compliance.
As a consultant for Resource Management Services, Inc., Ken has specialized in developing and completing third party compliance and performance audits for collections agencies and collection attorney firms for many top credit grantors and debt buyers. He has leveraged his 25 years of experience to develop multiple collector and collection management training classes designed to maximize collector performance. In addition to collection training, Ken helped develop and facilitates the RMS Third Party Vendor Auditing training.
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